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July 12th, 2009

02:59 pm I don't write in this much because half the time I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say- I work, I school, I play....putting my life in writing never really seemed  necessary.  However, as this summer flies by I realize that things are about to change.  I graduate in december; half my friends have already graduated.  I am partly grateful that I still have some time before I'm thrown into the real world, but I also am so ready to be done with school for awhile.  I am just thankful that I have a job that while it's nowhere near perfect and has nothing to do with whales, I can have it for as long as I need it.  Working at Starbucks offers no real fulfillment but I enjoy my coworkers and I like the store I work at.  I'll probably be getting promoted within the next six months or so.  That would mean getting transferred to a different store though, and that thought doesn't appeal to me at all.  But it's stll a ways away, so I don't need to worry just yet.  I know that I need to start looking for relevant work, but virtually all internships are unpaid and require me to have my own housing and transportation.  Some even ask me to pay to volunteer!  I understand they'll provide great experience, but I just can't afford to do that.  I don't need to get direct compensation for interning, but seriously, paying for the experience?  Maybe not... I am going back to Juneau in August for five days.  I am beyond excited, but I'm also nervous.  Here is a place I've built up so much in my mind, the setting for a summer that changed who I was as a person and shook me to my core.  What if it's not the same?  What if I've put so much pressure on Juneau to be perfect that there is no way that it could ever live up to such expectations?  I have to stop myself from asking these questions and remind myself that Juneau will never be the same as it was that summer, but that's not a bad thing.  It's going to be different.  But it's still going to be incredible, beautiful, stimulating Alaska where whales frolick and the mountains seem to go on forever.  And I cannot wait to go back! So that's a little bit of what's going on right now....mybe in another 6 months I'll post some more.  ;-) Current Mood: sleepy

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November 5th, 2008

08:59 pm I can't begin to express my excitement and pride right now.  It is a new day.  Barack Obama could turn this country around....I really have faith that he will.  Watching him speak...when they announced he won I nearly cried.  I am so hopeful.  This is what we need.  HE is what we need. Current Mood: ecstatic

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February 2nd, 2008

02:29 am So much of what I thought was solid and concrete and wonderful has apparently been a lie. I am so sorry. Current Mood: uncomfortable

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January 30th, 2008

05:45 pm - And that my friend is what they call closure... Finally a feeling of finality.  It feels strange, but in a good way.  And if this makes any sense at all, I don't know if it's completely final yet, but it will be.  It's sinking in.  It's a little disappointing as all endings are, but this needed to end.  It needed to end months ago but I wouldn't let it.  Hopefully now I'll truly allow myself to move forward.   I've been having trouble focusing this past week and a half.  When I got back for this quarter I found myself doing really well- getting these done, studying, focusing.  It felt good.  Then the hell weekend happened and my lovely bubble of focus popped and I'm back where I was before.  I need to get back in that bubble!  Current Mood: optimistic Current Music: Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack

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January 27th, 2008

12:35 am - wow... What Ilana Means You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start. You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is. You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality. You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals. What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning? Hmm...me, go overboard in interpreting signals? Never... Current Location: bed Current Mood: pensive

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January 24th, 2008

12:08 am Fuck being sad, I'm now just pissed off!  I thought a little respect wasn't too much to ask...apparently I was wrong.   Current Mood: infuriated

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January 21st, 2008

01:23 am I am so very sad.  Disappointment really hurts. Current Mood: and a little foolish

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January 14th, 2008

09:00 pm It's a little hard to tell, but there's snow on those trees!  Yup, I'm finally here for some snow after missing the past two occasions.  Andrea and I went for a delightful walk around the block in which I took many pictures of snowy trees.  What can I say, I think they're pretty! Current Location: home Current Mood: excited Current Music: the heater

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January 5th, 2008

02:16 pm So I thought that since classes start on monday and all, it would be a really good idea to come down with a cold!  What do you think?  Is that pretty much a brilliant idea or what?  Damn sickness...I couldn't have gotten sick during the break, nooooooo, that would have been too easy.  I had to wait until right before classes started, right before my musical theatre class started!  Stupid cold.  And it's one of those really annoying colds where you aren't sick enough to call in sick from work or anything, but you still feel like crap the entire day.  Lame.  Very lame. In other news, I am very glad to be back in Seattle.  I never realize how much I miss Seattle until I leave for awhile.  I guess the exception that was Juneau...I didn't want to come back to Seattle and I hated it for the first few weeks back.  But anyway, the point is, I'm glad to be home.  Seeing my dad was nice, but sometimes his house is too much.  Too much chaos sometimes.  I did have a good time there, and I was so happy to go into Portland.  I saw more people over this winter break than I have in the past couple of years.  It was wonderful.  By the end of the break though I was in need of some normalcy, so getting back to my Seattle routine was quite nice.  AND I drove up here all by myself, so until Dad comes up and gets the car, I have a car!  Heck yes.  It will probably only be for a week or so, but I'll take what I can get.... Current Location: work Current Mood: drained

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January 1st, 2008

06:37 pm - 2008 Happy New Year everyone!  Let's look back on 2007, shall we?  First sentences from the first entry of each month (I don't think I posted frequently enough for this, but just ignore that fact): January: Wow, this show is going to kill my hair -Ah Rocky Horror.   Truly one of my favorite theatre experiences. February: I want something real, something concrete -I can't remember what this cryptic entry was about.  Apparently it wasn't very important... March:  The first week back has been full of ups and downs (oops, no April) May: The unthinkable has happened -The half marathon.  I am really disappointed foot issues prevented me from doing that.  The classic 'want what you can't have' situation....I never wanted to run before until something physical prevented me from doing so. August: Wow, it's been so long since I've posted -That it had, seeing as I had no entries for June or July.  The Alaska months were pretty busy.  And I'm lame. September:  My time in Juneau is coming to an end....and I can safely say that I am not the same person I was when I arrived here. October: This has been an up and down year already and it's barely started. -Re-integrating into Seattle was so much harder than I expected, and I still have "homesickness" for Juneau. November:  Today was a good day, despite the rain 2007 was a big year for me.  I did a lot of growing and changing, and it all happened during a relatively short period of time. Those summer months....well, I've talked enough about how Juneau affected me. I am satisfied with how the year started and ended, and everything that happened in between.  I don't think I'm going to bother with resolutions this year, because I never seem to keep them.  But I am going to continue working towards the goals that I set for myself during this past quarter.  I'm looking forward to this next quarter; it will have a little bit of everything. Musical theatre, oceanography, and some animal behavior research thrown in there.  Alright, I also have to deal with some math mixed in as well, but....well, we'll see how that turns out.  I'm just going to try my best and hope it works out.  Right?  Well, I guess that's all I can do.  Anyway, 2007.  A milestone year, and a starting point for much of what's going to happen next.  I hope you all had a fun night last night, and happy 2k8! Current Location: Salem Current Mood: smiling

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November 24th, 2007

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November 15th, 2007

09:59 pm     Today was a good day, despite the rain.  And I'm not even that upset about the rain, since it's been a fairly dry fall so far.  Anyway, today was a good day because I finally found out the outcome of my audition last week.  The audition in question was for a musical theatre class being offered next quarter.  It's being taught by the musical director and artistic director of the 5th Avenue Theatre, a big (and widely known) theatre in town.  And since it's not a class that's normally offered, it was a really exciting opportunity.  Long story short, I got into the class!  So I was really happy all day.  I also got to see a gray whale skull, a sperm whale skull, an orca skeleton, and a huge piece of baleen from a bowhead whale. Yay whales.  So all in all a very productive day! Current Location: my room Current Mood: accomplished

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October 28th, 2007

05:41 pm  Halfway through the first quarter.  I can't decide if it's going by slowly or quickly.   I think I may be moving in the right direction...i think I actually might know where I want to end up.  Or, I at least have a better idea now than I've ever had before.  I have a goal to be working toward, and that is quite relieving.  I met with an Animal Behavior professor recently and I really think it's the best thing I've done in my entire UW career...well, it's tied with Tommy and Rocky Horror.  But seriously, it was an amazing meeting.  I finally found someone who will advise me and help me get to where I want to be.  He knows everyone in the field of Animal Behavior, and has done some work on the Souther Resident orca populations, so he knows everyone that focuses on marine mammal behavior too.  So basically, if I stick with him for awhile he could potentially hook me up with internships, research apprenticeships, or even my own research project...studying whales.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited about it. Unfortunately, I still feel stuck in a lot of ways too...part of me feels like I am stuck back in Juneau, and the other part of me feels unable to move forward.  So I'm caught in this weird place where one part of me is unable (or unwilling, I'm not really sure) to re-integrate into my UW life, and the other part of me has returned to UW, but is just lazy.  Not really where (or who) I want to be right now.  But I'm working on it...trying to figure out how to get myself out of this place I find myself in.  I am having a good time though...maybe obsessing over some things that need not, that should not be obsessed over, but happy none the less.  Current Mood: mellow

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October 2nd, 2007

10:03 pm the newest member of our house, Kali!!  (named for the Hindu goddess of destruction....and I'll tell you now, we chose the name well...)  This has been an up and down year already and it's barely started.  With missing Juneau, indecision, and stress about said indecision, this quarter is sure to be a roller coaster ride.  I think that I may be coming to a sort of conclusion soon...I don't want to jinx anything though.  But I think that my summer in AK was more enlightening than I thought.  They do say hindsight is 20/20...

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August 1st, 2007

02:36 pm Wow, it's been so long since I've posted.  Too much has happened this summer for one entry, so I'll just do a 'damn the man/woohoo' style entry.  WOOHOO! -Juneau! -seeing whales every day -working with cool people -living with cool people -rosemary and x-tra tuff -laughing...a lot -wildlife -working on a boat -listening to music endlessly -rock climbing -adventures -making fun of our spastic kitty -crazy things happening -new experiences -running -hiking -my dad visiting in a few days -glaciers DAMN THE MAN -my feet are screwed up -running -not staying on plan -the company I work for not respecting the environment -having to move in a few days -uncertainty -awkwardness -"there's no such thing as a stupid question"  Yeah, that's a lie. -Erika and Jeff leaving All in all, this has been the best summer of my life. It has it's ups and downs...but that's life I guess.  Being in Alaska all summer has really made me look at what my priorities are, and what they should be.  It will be interesting to return to a big city lifestyle and see how my lifestyle will have changed.  I'm definitely going to be a different person in many ways when I get back to Seattle.  Too much has happened here for me to be the same.  I wonder though...does what happens in Alaska stay in Alaska?  We shall see.  Current Location: Juneau, AK Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: Such Great Heights~ The Postal Service

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May 9th, 2007

09:07 pm The unthinkable has happened.  I, Ilana Michelle Berry, am going to run a half marathon.  That's right, the girl who hates to run, the girl who can barely run one mile without dying is going to attempt to run 13.  Why, you may ask?  Frankly, I don't know.  I just kind of feel like it's something I need to do.  It's a goal I've never had before, something completely out of my comfort zone.  Something I'm going to have to work my ass off for and in the end, it's be so exhilarating and satisfying when I cross that finish line.  Also...if I can do this, actually train during the summertime  and get in shape to run a half marathon...let's just say it would be amazing to actually be in shape.  And maybe even develop a habit I can continue to do for a long time.  I'd love to love running.  So yeah....I'm not really sure what I've gotten myself into, but the it's going to be a long road ahead!  (Euegheugh...no pun intended.) Current Mood: contemplative Current Music: They Look Like Giants~ Death Cab

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March 31st, 2007

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February 26th, 2007

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February 22nd, 2007

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February 19th, 2007

04:22 pm So my audition for Into the Woods/Rumors was today.  It was quite nerve-wracking, but now I'm actually feeling ok about it.  I was really nervous before and during, but now I truly believe that I did my best, and whatever happens happens.  I think the audition went well- It's kind of a blur though. I don't think I bombed it, so that's a plus.  I can't remember if I rushed through anything or not- that seems to be a problem for me when I get nervous.  But oh well.  I can't go back and change anything now.  I just get to wait.  I hate waiting. Current Mood: anxious

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