July 12th, 2009
I don't write in this much because half the time I don't feel like I have anything interesting to say- I work, I school, I play....putting my life in writing never really seemed necessary. However, as this summer flies by I realize that things are about to change. I graduate in december; half my friends have already graduated. I am partly grateful that I still have some time before I'm thrown into the real world, but I also am so ready to be done with school for awhile. I am just thankful that I have a job that while it's nowhere near perfect and has nothing to do with whales, I can have it for as long as I need it. Working at Starbucks offers no real fulfillment but I enjoy my coworkers and I like the store I work at. I'll probably be getting promoted within the next six months or so. That would mean getting transferred to a different store though, and that thought doesn't appeal to me at all. But it's stll a ways away, so I don't need to worry just yet. I know that I need to start looking for relevant work, but virtually all internships are unpaid and require me to have my own housing and transportation. Some even ask me to pay to volunteer! I understand they'll provide great experience, but I just can't afford to do that. I don't need to get direct compensation for interning, but seriously, paying for the experience? Maybe not...
I am going back to Juneau in August for five days. I am beyond excited, but I'm also nervous. Here is a place I've built up so much in my mind, the setting for a summer that changed who I was as a person and shook me to my core. What if it's not the same? What if I've put so much pressure on Juneau to be perfect that there is no way that it could ever live up to such expectations? I have to stop myself from asking these questions and remind myself that Juneau will never be the same as it was that summer, but that's not a bad thing. It's going to be different. But it's still going to be incredible, beautiful, stimulating Alaska where whales frolick and the mountains seem to go on forever. And I cannot wait to go back!
So that's a little bit of what's going on right now....mybe in another 6 months I'll post some more. ;-)
Current Mood: sleepy
November 5th, 2008
I can't begin to express my excitement and pride right now. It is a new day. Barack Obama could turn this country around....I really have faith that he will. Watching him speak...when they announced he won I nearly cried. I am so hopeful. This is what we need. HE is what we need.
Current Mood: ecstatic
February 2nd, 2008
So much of what I thought was solid and concrete and wonderful has apparently been a lie.
I am so sorry.
Current Mood: uncomfortable
January 30th, 2008
|05:45 pm - And that my friend is what they call closure...|
Finally a feeling of finality. It feels strange, but in a good way. And if this makes any sense at all, I don't know if it's completely final yet, but it will be. It's sinking in. It's a little disappointing as all endings are, but this needed to end. It needed to end months ago but I wouldn't let it. Hopefully now I'll truly allow myself to move forward.
I've been having trouble focusing this past week and a half. When I got back for this quarter I found myself doing really well- getting these done, studying, focusing. It felt good. Then the hell weekend happened and my lovely bubble of focus popped and I'm back where I was before. I need to get back in that bubble!
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Pirates of the Caribbean soundtrack
January 27th, 2008
|12:35 am - wow...|
|What Ilana Means|
You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.
You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.
You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.
You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.
You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.
Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.
You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.
You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.
You have the classic "Type A" personality.
You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people.
You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts.
You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.
Hmm...me, go overboard in interpreting signals? Never...
Current Location: bed
Current Mood: pensive
January 24th, 2008
Fuck being sad, I'm now just pissed off! I thought a little respect wasn't too much to ask...apparently I was wrong.
Current Mood: infuriated
January 21st, 2008
I am so very sad. Disappointment really hurts.
Current Mood: and a little foolish
January 14th, 2008
It's a little hard to tell, but there's snow on those trees! Yup, I'm finally here for some snow after missing the past two occasions. Andrea and I went for a delightful walk around the block in which I took many pictures of snowy trees. What can I say, I think they're pretty!
Current Location: home
Current Mood: excited
Current Music: the heater
January 5th, 2008
So I thought that since classes start on monday and all, it would be a really good idea to come down with a cold! What do you think? Is that pretty much a brilliant idea or what? Damn sickness...I couldn't have gotten sick during the break, nooooooo, that would have been too easy. I had to wait until right before classes started, right before my musical theatre class started! Stupid cold. And it's one of those really annoying colds where you aren't sick enough to call in sick from work or anything, but you still feel like crap the entire day. Lame. Very lame.
In other news, I am very glad to be back in Seattle. I never realize how much I miss Seattle until I leave for awhile. I guess the exception that was Juneau...I didn't want to come back to Seattle and I hated it for the first few weeks back. But anyway, the point is, I'm glad to be home. Seeing my dad was nice, but sometimes his house is too much. Too much chaos sometimes. I did have a good time there, and I was so happy to go into Portland. I saw more people over this winter break than I have in the past couple of years. It was wonderful. By the end of the break though I was in need of some normalcy, so getting back to my Seattle routine was quite nice. AND I drove up here all by myself, so until Dad comes up and gets the car, I have a car! Heck yes. It will probably only be for a week or so, but I'll take what I can get....
Current Location: work
Current Mood: drained
January 1st, 2008
|06:37 pm - 2008|
Happy New Year everyone! Let's look back on 2007, shall we?
First sentences from the first entry of each month (I don't think I posted frequently enough for this, but just ignore that fact):
January: Wow, this show is going to kill my hair
-Ah Rocky Horror. Truly one of my favorite theatre experiences.
February: I want something real, something concrete
-I can't remember what this cryptic entry was about. Apparently it wasn't very important...
March: The first week back has been full of ups and downs
(oops, no April)
May: The unthinkable has happened
-The half marathon. I am really disappointed foot issues prevented me from doing that. The classic 'want what you can't have' situation....I never wanted to run before until something physical prevented me from doing so.
August: Wow, it's been so long since I've posted
-That it had, seeing as I had no entries for June or July. The Alaska months were pretty busy. And I'm lame.
September: My time in Juneau is coming to an end....and I can safely say that I am not the same person I was when I arrived here.
October: This has been an up and down year already and it's barely started.
-Re-integrating into Seattle was so much harder than I expected, and I still have "homesickness" for Juneau.
November: Today was a good day, despite the rain
2007 was a big year for me. I did a lot of growing and changing, and it all happened during a relatively short period of time. Those summer months....well, I've talked enough about how Juneau affected me. I am satisfied with how the year started and ended, and everything that happened in between. I don't think I'm going to bother with resolutions this year, because I never seem to keep them. But I am going to continue working towards the goals that I set for myself during this past quarter. I'm looking forward to this next quarter; it will have a little bit of everything. Musical theatre, oceanography, and some animal behavior research thrown in there. Alright, I also have to deal with some math mixed in as well, but....well, we'll see how that turns out. I'm just going to try my best and hope it works out. Right? Well, I guess that's all I can do. Anyway, 2007. A milestone year, and a starting point for much of what's going to happen next.
I hope you all had a fun night last night, and happy 2k8!
Current Location: Salem
Current Mood: smiling